Was he prepared to rewrite the chemistry in his body?
The phenomenon of countertransference was first defined publicly by Sigmund Freud in 1910 (The Future Prospects of Psycho-Analytic Therapy) as being “a result of the patient’s influence on [the physician’s] unconscious feelings”; although Freud had been aware of it privately for some time…
I wanted to tell him about how I used recycled cloth sometimes to emphasise the notion of embedded multiple stories – like the denim from the leg of the jeans I once had – to tell my story of journeying; wanted to emphasise how childhood nursery rhymes – such as ‘a-frog-he-would-a-wooing-go – were layers adding to the narrative. I wanted to explain how I distressed, dyed and rusted the cloth; how I singed and burnt it to make marks and scars on otherwise conventional and contrived fabrics. I wanted to disclose the importance of stitching with threads lovingly hand dyed by others who used natural plants and indigo vats.
Instead I plucked at my clothes.